The Big Wedding
Ellie returns to the home where she and her ex-husband Don raised three children, Lyla, Jared, and the adopted Alejandro. She lets herself in and is embarrassed when Don returns with his long-term girlfriend Bebe, upon whom he is about to perform cunnilingus on the kitchen counter when they notice Ellie. After this awkward introduction, they discuss the impending wedding of Alejandro to his fianc Missy, which Don and Bebe are hosting at the house. Ellie, who had been best friends with Bebe until she got involved with Don, tells her she has no hard feelings about their ongoing relationship.
Because Missy's parents are conservative Catholics, she and Alejandro are enrolled in pre-Cana counseling with Father Moinighan, who reminds Alejandro that his very Catholic birth mother would not approve of the fact that his adoptive parents are divorced. Alejandro soon asks Ellie and Don to pretend to stiill be married for the weekend, just to ease tensions with his mother, who is visiting from Colombia, which upsets Bebe so much that she leaves for the weekend.
Meanwhile, Lyla is overcoming a separation from her callous husband as well as a longstanding resentment toward her father. She teases her brother Jared, because even though he is a doctor with plenty of attractive nurses around him, he remains a virgin. When she goes to visit him at his hospital, she faints at the sight of babies in the maternity ward, and feels rather sick for a while thereafter; we soon learn that her inability to conceive was a major tension in her marriage.
Alejandro's mother Madonna (that is her name) arrives with his sister Nuria from Colombia. Ellie and Don introduce themselves as Alejandro's parents, even though she has just punched him square in the face for insulting her mother. Madonna is impressed with Don's work as a sculptor, and Jared is impressed with Nuria's beauty even though she is his adoptive brother's birth sister. She quickly goes skinny-dipping in front of him and hopes he will soon make love to her.
Alejandro takes Madonna to see Father Moinighan, and she insists that Don and Ellie join her in doing confessions with him. Thereafter they join Missy and her parents for a very stressful dinner where Bebe suddenly shows up as their waitress, leading to even more lies as Don and Ellie try to maintain their ruse to Madonna. Nuria gives Jared a noticeable hand job under the table, whereupon Ellie privately tells her to act with more respect.
While preparing for bed, Ellie and Don talk about their troubled marriage, and they are mildly flirtatious. The next morning they have incredibly loud sex for 40 minutes that the whole house can hear. In talking about this, Lyla tells Don that she is pregnant. Jared is meanwhile disappointed that Nuria has changed her mind and does not want to make love with him. And more potential conflict arrives when Bebe shows up to cater the wedding reception.
Don, who had been sober for a few years, gets drunk and lets slip to Bebe that he had sex with Ellie, so she punches him square in the face. Bebe then deigns to forgive Ellie, but first reveals another secret: that Ellie slept with Missy's father years earlier when she was still married to Don. Just after that, Missy's mother drops the bomb that she is attracted to both Ellie and Bebe.
In the midst of this massive faux pas de beaucoup, Missy and Alejandro abscond with Father Moinighan and quickly perform their marriage rites away from the arranged ceremony. The party nonetheless goes on, and the guests continue with their strange interludes. Jared is excited that Nuria has once again changed her mind and she deflowers him straightaway. Ellie and Bebe make up. Lyla slaps Don square in the face when she realizes he has invited her husband to the wedding, to whom she confesses she is pregnant.
After all this, Don proclaims his love for Bebe to the assembled crowd, and proposes to her with a ring he'd been holding for years. Father Moinighan then immediately marries them. Madonna realizes she has been deceived this whole time, prompting her to tell Alejandro that he is not the only one who has lied to protect his family, because she had him as the result of an illicit teenage affair.
A long while later, Don imagines telling Lyla's baby daughter that all of her grandmothers, however defined, are crazy.
